


Moon

by TroubleMoi



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Emotional Sex, Hand Jobs, Light Angst, M/M, Secret Relationship, Smut, business man Erwin, eruri - Freeform, friendship comfort, poor levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-02-07 10:10:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12838965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TroubleMoi/pseuds/TroubleMoi
Summary: They weren’t a couple per se. Levi wouldn’t even know how to define what they are. He just knew about unfulfilled needs and cravings that both could respond to.





	1. Chapter 1

He traced a finger along his appeased face, smoothing his brows, brushing the bridge of his nose, caressing his full lips. He was entranced by the motion of his torso, an indication of a peaceful sleep. The only window of the room was big enough for the moon to cast a light blue hue on them. It made him look surreal, like an illusion, like an ideal he was chasing after. He hasn’t known this man for a long time though he was already engrossed by his stature, his gaze, his body, his touch. Slowly He leaned closer to the unconscious man and laid his lips on his, chaste. He took his remaining clothes, abandoned on the floor and left the room.

They met once, twice, thrice, whenever he heard that deep voice on the phone, he obliged. To tell him no isn’t even an option for Levi. It wasn’t that he was controlled or felt like he had to do this. Not at all. While he was happy to please, he was also satisfied with what he received. They fucked, they ate, they drank, they talked and sometimes just being in each other presence was enough.  
Usually, Erwin’s tongue would detangle after three or more glasses or after several fucking rounds, he was mostly chatty when feeling contented and exhausted. He talked to Levi about his past, his childhood, his father and Levi would listen without interruption, focusing on Erwin’s deep voice. Erwin after would whisper his gratitude in the curve of his ear, warm breath tickling his skin. Levi would hide his face in his chest.

They weren’t a couple per se. Levi wouldn’t even know how to define what they are. He just knew about unfulfilled needs and cravings that both could respond to. That’s the way they found each other. He didn’t care about labels nor did Erwin. 

Erwin would give him money sometimes. He told him it wasn’t a gesture of gratitude for whatever they were doing. Levi’s situation was shitty and meeting month-ends was tough. Levi never said a word about this but Erwin was astute enough and he didn’t take him long to realise. It took a while before Levi accepted the money. “I would like to help” Erwin said to him “I am happy to do that for you” he added with his gorgeous signature smile. Levi would take it and thanked him the best way he can with burning touches, an expert tongue and a filled mouth. 

They went on like this for weeks. Levi never bothered asking Erwin why someone like him would stay with him. His mind was constantly questioning for which motives, a man who was the epitome of success would waste his time with a lowlife like him. For all he knew he could be married, he could have someone who was significant for him. Levi didn’t care much about that even though the only moments they could be together was when the sun retreated and let the moon shine instead. But Levi couldn’t really shook off the feeling that it will end sooner or later. He wouldn’t know what to do with himself if that happens. Because it didn't matter that what they had was unstable, insignificant. He was scared, terrified that this man who he became attached to would let him down. And that’s why Levi dreaded the moment so much. So at night he would observe him trying to engrave his body's marks, his golden hair, his masculine scent.

He wanted to hang to that, to whatever they had not matter what.

He never said anything about that to Erwin. It happened, that Erwin became curious and asked questions. But Levi dodged them all. Erwin never pressured him, he never did. And for that Levi was glad. 

Sometimes Erwin would tell him things, quite embarrassing things. “I can’t stop looking at you”, “why are you so beautiful?”, “you are everything” He would sing these sweet melodies to his ears while Levi was leisurely thrusting his hips up and down, a languid gaze fixed on Erwin, heavy pants leaving his slack mouth. In these moments Levi would believe these things.

One day, Erwin stopped calling him. 

It happened after the night Erwin told him he loves him. Levi has never been stunned like this in his whole life. He searched in Erwin’s blue any lies, any wrong that tell him he was dishonest but Erwin repeated incessantly how much he cares for him, how being with him gives him strength, how much he needs him. When Levi’s heart couldn’t stand it anymore he told him he loves him back, that he always has. That night, with the moon has their only spectator, they made love for the first time.

After Erwin’s confession that night Levi was feeling more confident about himself, about them and what would come after. It felt great to have someone actually caring for him, his wellbeing, his body, his soul. 

Everything shattered when he understood that once again someone let him down.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It wasn't supposed to be a multi-chap fic but some people asked me to write more. So I did. 
> 
> Enjoy ^^

“Levi, Levi, Levi” His warm breath passed slowly on his thigh, tracing his way with heated kisses. He repeated the darker hair man's name like a prayer, like he was the answer to a life full of sins and depravity, knowing pertinently that what they were doing was far from being holy. When he finally reached the tight grey cotton cloth, he was welcome with a tent, a summary of the other man condition. “Oh” Erwin sighed fondly. His eyes glinted with fervour and before dropping to taste the smaller man, he raised his head and observed the patches of red covering the milky skinned chest, neck and then face. he met Levi’s glassy eyes and smiled, he removed the cotton barrier and plunged taking the throbbing cock entirely. Levi cried.

Levi woke up suddenly panting, eyes unfocused. He looked around him. When he understood where he was, he relaxed. He removed the cover from his sweaty body and realized with horrifying eyes something poking from his boxer, he was hard as pole. He rubbed his face with warm hands. He checked on his phone for the first time this morning, he had few minutes before getting ready for work. He couldn’t stop his face from dropping when he realized he didn’t receive any texts. Nothing. He didn't know why he was still bothering, hoping for a sign, something that he can hold to. His eyes focused back to the uninvited hard-on and he groaned “fuck”. He has no time to deal with this right now, he had to get ready. He opted then for this brutal solution that is a cold shower, a good and quick remedy for these kind of morning surprises. He regretted immediately at the first drop of icy water on him, it felt like his skin was pierced with daggers. He still went through his careful washing process though. In his younger days, this certainly happened a lot, throughout raging hormones and sexual exploration. He thought he was done with that phase, but it occurred more frequently since a few weeks. The meeting with a certain blond is more likely to be the cause of Levi’s recent fantasies. He breaks into his dream and do all these shameless things to his body, all these things that they used to do or that Levi wished to have done. He felt so pathetic because he could not bring himself to forget. Especially after that time he uttered these words. 

“Levi I love you” He shut his eyes, remembering the broken voice, “I need you” He let out a breath, his heart tightening at the memory. At that moment, Erwin looked at him with such sincerity and honesty, that all his doubts just evaporated. And then the same man who loved him the eve just cut him of his life the following day. He entered the same way he left, by taking something from him. Though now he took something Levi usually don’t give away easily. He felt just used and robbed.

 

 

Today wasn’t any different. In the crowded street, busy people were rushing to get their food before going back to work. In the little café, already a long queue of hungry individuals was waiting to get their sandwiches, the speciality of the house. Levi was doing his best to get through the rush caused by lunchtime. 

Even though he has been distracted all morning; now he was looking urgently at the huge clock on his side and wondered if its hands have always move so slowly. He spoke to customers with a more edgy voice. He was going to snap at some of them for complaining about the slow service but restrained himself against it.

When the break time came, he thanked all the gods. He left immediatetly without notice under the client’s bewildered eyes. He went the staff private room and closed the door. He grabbed his jacket to remove his phone and checked it for the hundredth time since waking up. When nothing special appeared in his screen, he put it in his jean’s pocket. As expected. His feelings were a bit conflicted because as much as he wanted to be mad, he was just feeling disappointed. He resigned and ate, because he hasn’t had anything today. Even though he wasn’t that hungry, he still needed to have something in his stomach. If not he wouldn’t be able to deal with customers the rest of the day. He took his lunch in the fridge and sat at the small table. Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t notice the door opening.

“Hey Levi. since when do you leave customers like that? You should have waited for someone to replace you. They were going crazy over there.” The darker blond pointed his thumb toward the door, indicating the people behind it. When Levi didn’t react he settled next to him, a sandwich in his hands.

“Hey are you ok? You seem like you are in another world” Levi glared at him from his own sandwich.

“How about… you care about your own business?” He told him with no venom.

The other guy smiled lightly, used to the other's way of talking. After 10 years of friendship, one should be.

“Oh I see is it about that guy?” Levi stopped chewing, attentive.

Proud to have hit the nail, the dark blond went on, explaining “The other night Isabel saw some interesting texts in your phone” Last Friday, as every Friday, they spent the evening watching some tv series and chilling. Levi wondered when Isabel got the occasion to go through his phone.

“The fuck Isabel was doing with my phone?” 

The other exploded with laughter “You know she is kinda sneaky she took it when you went to the toilet. I didn’t notice right away so when I spotted her she had already... read a lot” He said half amused, half sorry.

She would be here, she would be dead. He will have to talk to her about not going in other people's stuff when they are taking a piss. That kid. Fortunately, the texts he exchanged with Erwin were always short and brief and not that exciting. 

“I was wondering... Do you still see each other?”

“No” Levi sighed.

“Why-“

“Because Farlan this is like that I am done with him”

“But why ? did That Bastard hurt you? I remember you told me it wasn’t that serious but I thought because it was lasting that maybe…” 

“It doesn’t matter. It wasn’t serious” 

“It seems like it does matter to you…” He added nonchalantly looking away.

Levi scowled “Farlan Fucking drop it” 

Farlan gave up after that. If he knows something about Levi it is his stubbornness. He deviated the conversation to that vampire show they were watching last time.

 

 

 

When Levi finally came back home, he let out the deep sigh he held back all day. He removed jacket and shoes and turned on the television to have something to listen to.  
On his way home, he took something to eat. He was in no mood to cook anything. Today has been exhausting enough. 

The taste of his plate didn’t appeal to him at all, he has been toying with the weird looking vegetables and meat for about ten minutes already. 

The sound of a phone buzzing woke him up from his stupor and he jumped from his seat to reach it behind him on the coffee table. His heart was hammering fast. It sank as soon as he saw the sender's name. Farlan.

“Hey buddy Isabel forced me to tell you she was sorry so she is sorry and she says to not be angry she won’t do it again”

Levi texted him back “Tell her that I will shave her head next time” 

“ahahahah I will help you for sure” 

“Of course Farlan that is your dream” Levi smirked and send the text. He went back to the table, took his plate threw it away. That shit was disgusting anyway. 

His phone buzzed again and he took it lazily, expecting a text message from Farlan again. But when he saw the sender’s name his eyes went wide. He didn’t know how long he wished to see it to appear back again.

“Levi” it just said. He looked at his phone as if it was some foreign entity. he froze for a moment, a thousand thoughts crossing his mind.

Another buzz.

“I want to see you”.


	3. Chapter 3

“I want to see you”

Levi stared at his phone. If another person was there, he might believe that he has just received the death of a relative. He might also look like he has just seen a ghost, though that wasn’t far from the truth. He read the message over and over again, to be sure that he wasn’t seeing things. His brows scowled harder each time his eyes scan the five words. His trail of thoughts was suddenly interrupted by another aggressive buzz.

“I can understand if you don’t want to”

Levi’s narrow eyes went wide abruptly and his face was tense from the burning rage inside him. The colour of his knuckles changed because he was holding his phone so hard. Certainly the harmless device was on the verge of being thrown away on the wall. Nothing else could appease him beside witnessing something shatters and breaks in front of him. The right thing would have been a blond head. 

He can understand? Right. He can fucking understand leaving him without any signs for nearly a month and then... 

Levi let out a tired sigh. He knew from the beginning that this story would lead nowhere. He was prepared to end it one day, to leave it behind and forget about the whole thing. But he just couldn’t anymore, not after that night. Not after he showed him that only in darkness, stars are the brightest and the universe is the widest. His idyllic world fell down when he realised that he was no more than a toy. A small and insignificant little thing he could play with, he could manipulate and then toss aside when it is no longer entertaining or worst, enough. 

Of course Levi wasn’t naive, the nature of their relationship was questionable from the start. Only one motive lead them to that point, the basic need of the flesh. Nothing else, until touches became softer, words became soothing melody, full of promises and possibilities, eyes became brighter. And that’s what probably lead Levi to think that way, that he was more.  
Now, He was certain he wasn’t the only one that Erwin held under the dark sky and light moon and maybe that’s what was bothering him the most. 

He convinced himself that the hatred he felt was justified. However, he didn't know who deserve it the most… Erwin or himself.

He was sure of one thing though he doesn’t want to be a part of this world again.

Tired, he finally let his phone drop on the worn couch and ignored it for the rest of the evening. 

 

Levi underestimated Erwin’s willingness to come back in his life when a baffled Farlan found him during his break few days later. He was going to attack his sandwich when the dark blonde jolted in the room.

“Farlan you don’t need to make so much noises when you enter in a room” he scolded, watching his agitated friend.

“There is a guy here looking for you” He revealed suspiciously. And when Levi told him that he can fucking comeback when he is done with his lunch he added “I know… I tried to tell him that but he doesn’t seem like the type to retract easily he was really… convincing and also his size didn’t help…the guy is huge !” He giggled nervously while demonstrating the astonished size with both hands. At that Levi dropped his sandwich. 

“What does he look like?”

“Besides being a giant? Good-looking, blond, amazing blue eyes” Farlan trailed off, going to the fridge.

“This better be a fucking joke” 

“Not really…” when Farlan turned around, Levi was already off. 

And no, regrettably, it wasn’t a joke because Erwin Smith was standing in the Café, proud and elegant as ever. His body left an imposing and calm impression. He was easily outshining everyone else there. So much that some fairly old woman initiated dialogue with him and as the gentleman that he was, Erwin indulged. 

The horrifying scene was unfolding before Levi’s bewildered eyes. As soon as Erwin spotted the younger male, he excused himself and decisively approached him, eyes resolute.

“Levi… I am so hap-“

“Outside” Levi immediately went forward to head out and wait in the chilly weather, he crossed his arms bracing himself for what was coming.  
To say that Erwin wasn’t a bit shocked by Levi’s brusqueness would be a lie. He stopped in his track but recovered quickly and followed the other man, face composed, giving away nothing.

As soon as Erwin pushed the door, Levi lashed out.

“What the fuck are you doing here ?!” He gestured at the Café. 

Erwin was prepared and he expected him to react like this. He was ready to receive it all.

“I wanted to see you” he explained calmly. “I am sorry to bother you here” he glanced at the Café. “but as you didn’t answer my texts. I thought I could just drop by” Erwin finished.

Levi couldn’t believe what he hears, this guy had really some balls to come here and tell him that. 

“Maybe because I don’t want to see your shitty face again?” he spatted. “This is clear now dumbass?” he added when Erwin didn’t retort directly and just stared at him.

“This very clear Levi. But I think that the whole situation is a misunderstanding.” Erwin expressed unfazed by Levi crude language or so in façade.

“You think? I think you should fucking go home Smith” 

At that Erwin reduced the distance between them and came nearer to Levi. Levi offered him a death glare, a glare so fierce it could stop anyone but Erwin Smith, apparently. Levi thought about moving backward but he dismissed this thought quickly. He won’t let Erwin intimidated him, though he felt uncomfortable by their proximity.

“Listen to me please” he sighed, finally revealing some irritation himself “Everything… exactly everything I have said to you was true” 

“The fuck do you want Smith?” Levi asked at last. He still didn’t know why he was here.

“I am not here to bother you for long. I just wanted to see if you were fine”

“Can’t you see? I am fine.” Levi couldn’t bear looking at him anymore and focused intensely at the concrete floor, a newly found fascination.

“And I wanted to tell you I am sorry for not contacting you nor answering your texts all this time” Erwin said softly, regretful.

“But I want to make up to you and prove to you that all this wasn’t an act” He paused and moved his hand to feel soft skin but he rapidly decided otherwise and let it fall at his side. It wasn’t suitable to do that right now. he felt foolish, silly but his eyes lightened up again when he remembered the purpose of his visit.

“There is an exceptional Italian restaurant not far from my office. I would like to go there with you” he told him eagerly. Levi quickly looked up at that. Beside today, that’s the first time Erwin was willing to see him outside his apartment. 

“A date?” Levi wanted to mentally slap himself for that. He was supposed to tell Erwin to go fuck himself.

“Yes a date” Erwin grinned “I will explain everything to you then… if you come obviously” he took a well folded paper from his inner pocket and handed it to Levi.

“Here are the details.” 

“you could have send me that by text you know” Levi eyed the paper for a moment and then grabbed it. “Though I didn’t say I will go”

Erwin chuckled at that “Yes I know. I am still hoping to see you… Anyway, I will wait for you” Erwin eyes brightened and that’s when Levi knew he was fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the chapter 3 !  
> I am almost done with this mini fic so future chapters won't take long to arrive. 
> 
> I would like to thanks everyone who is reading this and supporting my work ! For a newbie like me it means a lot.
> 
> if you want updates and news you can follow me at my eruri blog on Tumblr : https://troublemoi.tumblr.com
> 
> See ya


	4. Chapter 4

Levi went from “I don’t want to see his fucking face anymore” to “what will I wear to my date with Erwin ?” He was scandalized by his own behaviour and how quick he turned his jacket. Never in his life he had let anyone enter back in his life so effortlessly. What was he doing?

“Fucking shit!” 

Farlan looked up from his phone, taking a sip of his beer.

“What is it?” he inquired a frustrated Levi. The later was currently trying several combinations of clothes for his date tonight and apparently he still hasn’t found something suitable to wear. To make it simple, he has nothing appropriate and which fit perfectly. Then again he wasn’t used to go on dates. Even before Erwin.  
He felt foolish. Some dreading sentiments inside of him told him that he shouldn’t go and just stay home with Isabel and Farlan, watching crappy shows like they do on Fridays. He couldn’t help to think that it was some kind of trap. That Erwin wouldn’t show up or something and he would wait alone for hours like in those shitty romantic movies.

“Nothing.” He removed his outfit for the umpteenth this night and sighed. « I won’t go » The resignation in his voice made Farlan gasped. Levi threw his clothes on the bed, where the dark blond man sat.

« Wow man no, you don’t mean that. This looks really good together » he pointed out one pair of jeans with a light grey button-up shirt. “You can trust me”. Actually no, he couldn’t trust him, because Farlan’s sense of style was like his, non-existent. 

« For once in your life can you just listen to me ? I won’t go, end of the fucking conversation. » It didn’t matter anyway. Everything was just a merciless joke and tonight will be the icing on the cake. He really didn’t need that. 

« Levi, look at me » Farlan told him simply. Levi sighed and turned around, facing the other man.

« You will go. No, don’t say anything.” He silenced him with a sharp gesture. “I know he hurt you and that he behaved like a douche. But from what you told me, he really feels some type of remorse » Farlan continued, avoiding the steely gaze. « I know you have been hurt in the past, and that you shouldn’t let any guy treat you like a piece of ass. And yes, maybe that’s how he saw you in the beginning. But, I really think he cares much more about you than you think he does. I could see it, the other day. »

« Tchhh» Levi retorted because he didn’t know what to say, really.

« Go on your date man and enjoy your fancy dinner for me » He said, waving his beer at him.

Levi looked back at himself in the mirror. He would be fine, he tried to reassure himself. 

« If I see one beer stain on my bed when I comeback ... I will kill you » he threatened before putting on the jeans and the grey shirt. 

“Understood!” 

 

By the time the bus arrived at his destination, a few minutes walk away from the restaurant, he had at least ten irrational thoughts. Since he met him at the café few days ago, He and Erwin didn't talk. He was even wondering if the invitation still held.  
His thoughts became stronger when he noticed the opposite bus coming. If he ran he could catch it and go home, have one beer or two and watch a re-run of that crappy show about vampires.  
It sounded like a good and safe plan, when the sudden image of bright pleading eyes crossed his mind. That was it.

He furiously looked straight ahead. He would go to that stupid date. And he couldn’t miss the opportunity to tell Erwin everything weighing on his heart. A heart heavy and full of unspoken words.

 

Levi wasn’t used to go on dates. Well, what society calls proper dates. But when he entered the place Erwin indicated him, he fought hard the desire of turning back. “Is this a castle?” He thought, admiring the carvings on the wall which reminded him on some sort of Ancient Greek columns. Where he stood, he could even see some creepy paintings of nude guys. The place was illuminated by intricate golden chandeliers and was ornate by immense windows clothed by deep red velvet curtains and in front of one of them, an orchestra was playing some classical music that Levi could not recall the name of but he was sure he heard it before. 

« How can I help you? » Levi shook from his stupor. He didn’t know why but he felt at loss of words suddenly. It might have been because the woman from the front desk could bore holes with her severe stare. Her judgmental eyes scanned every part of his body, from head to toe, as if she wondered how someone like him ended up here. He wondered too. 

« I’m-… someone … » Levi mumbled, his voice failing to help him make coherent sentences. She raised a brow, impatient.

She was still staring at him when she told her also snobbish colleague « I think Mister lost himself, can you please escort him out- 

« I don’t think it will be necessary. He is with me » Levi turned toward the deep familiar voice.

Erwin. 

If elegance was personified, it would look like Erwin Smith. The blonde was wearing a three pieces navy suit which was finalised with a light blue tie and a handkerchief of the same shade. His hair was perfectly combed and his eyes were brighter than usual. Levi suspected the tie to be the reason for them to stand out so much. He stopped scrutinizing Erwin when he heard the two women hurriedly apologizing for their mistake. 

« We are sorry Mr. Smith we didn’t know» Erwin answered them with a smile which didn’t quite reach his eyes.

« No, it’s fine » he added, reassuring and then put a possessive arm around Levi’s waist before entering the main room under the women’s shocked eyes. 

All the people there seemed like they could afford three servants and a driver. And Levi was sure that the old gentry man eating at the next table could afford one’s whole college tuition fees with only his watch. Levi then noticed everyone watching them when Erwin, as the gentleman that he is, pulled back the chair for Levi and waited for him to sit down before taking his own seat.  
The uncomfortable man gave him a soft “thank you”, barely audible and he curled up on his velvet chair. Sensing Levi discomfort Erwin tried to light up the mood.

« I thought you wouldn’t come. I was ready to end my night with alone with a bottle of vodka» He chuckled lightly.

«Tchhh, you alcoholic » Levi scolded without venom. He pushed one dark strand falling over his eyes. He didn’t know what to do with his hair so he literally didn’t do anything. 

« You look stunning tonight, Levi » Erwin exclaimed, eyes sparkling with something that Levi still couldn’t quite grasp. He relaxed then, because only Erwin Smith could make him feel like he looks like a million bucks when he clearly looks like a beer can. 

Levi didn’t answer back, offering Erwin only a sigh. Erwin didn’t mind and smiled at him curiously «So, what would you like to eat? » he asked, opening the menu.

Levi didn’t choose anything and let Erwin’s expert palate select for them the meat and the expensive wine.  
Throughout the dinner, both of them tiptoed around each other. For the most part, Erwin conversed and Levi would only answer with short retorts during the tête-à-tête. At some point, with the wine helping, Levi couldn’t endure this masquerade anymore. As if it was completly fine between the two of them. It was evidently not. And the fact that Erwin was talking about pointless and irrelevant things to avoid the heart of the problem, made him slowly boil inside. He finally burst out when Erwin told him about the dog he lost when he was eight. 

“I still miss him toda-“

“Stop it!” He interrupted Erwin sharply. “Just… Just tell me what does ‘this’ mean?” He gestured around them.

Erwin placed his cutlery quietly on his plate and his expression became more solemn suddenly. “This means Levi that I want you to become an integral part of my life”

“Yeah sure. Did one of your sidechick dumped you or what?” he said deadpan.

“My what?” Erwin asked confused. 

“Cut the crap Erwin. You fucking disappeared for weeks and then you comeback like everything is fine” Levi took another sip of his wine. Thinking that he will need another bottle to go through this. 

“It wasn’t fair to you I agree” Levi snorted. “And…I don’t have anyone in my life since I started seeing you, if you were wondering. I know it’s hard to believe after what I have done but trust me Levi when I say that while we were apart, I could not think of anyone else but you.” Levi stared at him intensively.

“Ah yeah and is that how you treat the people you care about? Bullshit.”

“No obviously. And I put a distance intentionally that is very much true.”

“Why the fuck would you do that then?” Levi questioned, outraged. 

“I had to. You had consumed my whole being. I couldn’t focus, I was constantly thinking about you…missing you all the time, when we couldn’t be together I was miserable, irritated.” He paused. “I needed time to figure out my feelings, to put an end to these obsessive thoughts I had about you but I couldn’t, so I made a decision.” Erwin took Levi’s small hand in his larger one.

“Even though the circumstances in which we met weren’t usual, I still think we can build something real together.” He tightened his hold while he tried hard to convey, with his eyes, every words. 

“I don’t want to hide anymore Levi. I love you. Please become my partner…officially.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter is finally here! I took me more time because I had a lot to do for uni.
> 
> Again sorry for all the mistakes, I'm not a native speaker. Hopefully if I keep writing I'll get better!
> 
> Enjoy!

“I don’t want to hide anymore Levi. I love you. Please become my partner…officially.”

Fuck.

Levi burst out laughing. It took his entire body. He was shaking so hard that he had to put his glass of wine back on the table. He wouldn’t want to spill the dark content. During his outburst he took off his other hand from Erwin’s hold. The Blond face was blank except for a hint of confusion that could be slightly perceived in his tense features. 

“Levi are you feeling well?” Erwin asked, genuinely lost. Did he has something between his teeth? He couldn’t comprehend what was so hilarious. 

Levi finally calmed himself “This is just so fucking ironic.” He exclaimed, wiping his watering eyes. Erwin was here telling him everything he dreamed to hear. He said word by word what he needed to hear but something was off. 

“I am talking seriously. I really want to be with you” He continued, an attempt to make him understand that he was sincere, genuine. But this wasn’t the reaction he expected from such a declaration.

“You really are the most selfish and egocentric person I have ever met.” Levi spat at him. Hard. His laughter finally gone. “You don’t even know…” He whispered, as if talking to himself. “You don’t even know what I went through” he finished barely audible, in contrast to his outburst. 

Erwin certainly didn’t know how many nights he fell asleep thinking that he was worthless, not good enough for him. Thinking that Erwin had finally realised who he was actually, a nobody. Erwin didn’t know how his heart ached every time he thought about what they could never be. He didn’t know how many times Levi dwelled on their moments, repeating each scene in his head like a favourite movie that he watched again and again. He didn’t know how many times he felt pathetic and repulsive because he touched himself remembering their passionate meetings. Levi could clearly affirm that he went through moments in his life where he even questioned the purpose of living. But this, this was something else. And even Farlan’s optimism and Isabel’s cheerfulness, couldn’t shake away those feelings. He knew he should have never put Erwin so high. He paid the hard price. Because it was only through his eyes that he felt worthy and whole. He still couldn’t swallow the fact that he let him hang in the dark for so long only to reappear and tell him all these things. Levi’s anger just amplified. 

“That’s not-“

“You were so ashamed of me that you had to hide me.” Levi whispered bitterly, remembering how Erwin acted during their secret relation. He got up abruptly. “And just because you invite me to some expensive dinner, in a restaurant full of fucking privileged bastards, I will forget and tell you I am yours ?!” He cried, earning shocking stares and gasps from their new attentive audience, all this in a deafening silence but he didn’t care, not anymore. That evening lasted long enough, he needed to go home. Erwin got up too.

“Levi, I promise you that this is not what I meant” he pleaded, his features tensing again. Levi wasn’t even listening anymore. He felt like throwing up. 

“That’s for you.” He ignored Erwin, searching in his pocket. He threw over forty dollars, all he had on him. He was sure it wouldn’t be enough to cover the wine alone but at least it was something. He felt already humiliated enough, he needed to gain his dignity back.  
Levi was ready to go but before departing for good he told him “I have made a decision too. Just leave me the fuck alone” And then left, Erwin ran after him, following his steps but was halted by the waiter waiting with the check. The blonde sighed before taking out his wallet.

Levi was boiling, he should have just punch him in the face or better, throw his glass on him. He stopped running and felt the cold night air on him. It didn’t do anything to appease his anger, but at least he could breathe. He didn’t wait for long the next bus and went home.

 

When he arrived, Levi was greeted by two blanketed people, curled up on his worn couch, the TV illuminating their gleeful faces.

“Hello sunshine how was your date?” Farlan welcomed him.

“Did you kiss him?” Isabel added, teasing with a smirk.

Levi closed the front door and went straight into his room, not considering his friends.

They looked at each other puzzled. “Wait here.” Farlan told the redhead girl before following Levi to his room.

Farlan didn’t bother knocking and he wasn’t surprised by how Levi welcomed him, cold and glaring. “Out” Levi shouted, not even bothering to turn and face him completely.

“What happened?” Farlan asked ignoring his request. Levi sighed, he knew he would not let go, no matter how unpleasant he was.

“I told you!”

“You told me what?”

“He is just a selfish bastard and I am fucking done” he confessed voice cracking. The weight of his turmoil finally too heavy. The sight of his friend, showing how deeply affected he was, made Farlan react and close the distance between them. He took the dejected man in his arms. He wasn’t use to see him like that and to say that it didn’t worried him would be a lie. 

“Don’t worry about his big ass tree anymore. He is not worth it” He comforted, patting the silky black hair gently. Levi breathed into the man’s shirt, finding comfort. He didn’t want to admit it but he needed that. They stayed like for long a moment. 

“Wanna join us?” Farlan offered, hoping to cheer Levi up with their cringy tv show. Levi detached himself from the other man, putting some distance. “Please? it became so much better and when I say better I mean that this is clearly the worst thing I have ever seen.”

“I have missed already too much. Coming” 

 

Levi spend the night with his two friends, watching their favourite shows, commenting on the bad storyline and the horrible acting. It put his mind away from his incessant thoughts for a moment. It’s been a while since they spend a night like that.

Levi was glad but the next morning, everything came back to him. Like a persistent boomerang and when Levi wake up, the only thing he wanted was going back to sleep. He felt this way for weeks, empty and blank. Except that life went on, so he still had responsibilities and he had to go to work no matter how bad he wanted to stay at home. He still had his friends who helped him forget briefly. Despite the decision he made, he still missed him badly. Despite trying everything to convince himself that he made the right choice, he regretted. Honestly, Levi knew that he didn’t do anything wrong and that Erwin deserved all his anger and hatred. However, he felt a pang of guilt. Weeks went through and Erwin didn’t contact him anymore, as Levi asked. Levi tried to ignore that feeling of guilt and disappointment until the day he couldn’t take it anymore. 

For the most part Levi knew he had every rights to react like he did, but maybe, just maybe he should have listened. Because when he remembered how Erwin’s vibrant eyes faded, he couldn’t think he was the only one affected and struggling with tormenting thoughts. Just maybe, he should have read between lines. He knew Erwin’s character because of the time they spend together. He knew he was not some horrible guy, he was actually pretty attentive and caring. the other man opened up his heart to him, showed him a vulnerable side that he was sure only certain people could see. So when Erwin came back to him so confident and unfazed by the whole situation it made him angry and sad. But he understood now, in reality that his how Erwin faces the world during the day detached and uncaring. Levi needed to see the man he knew. That he really knew. 

 

The building was still as imposing as the last time. He waited a moment at its entrance and took his chance when someone opened the doors and sneaked inside, grabbing it before it closed. He arrived at 23th floors, in front of the door 2301, Levi hesitated. his hand was suspended in the air, ready to ring. He was already there may as well do it, he told himself before ringing twice. He waited, focusing on his feet. For a moment the only thing he could hear was his heart pounding and a little voice that told him he should just go home. Soon enough he heard hasty steps and the door unlocked. A weary and tired face greeted him.

“Levi?” the blonde exclaimed, his tired expression replaced by a shocked one. Levi looked at him entirely, he was simply dressed by a white shirt and a pyjama bottom. He regretted instantly, maybe he was sleeping. But he was there already so he should go through it and be done. 

“I- Can I enter?” he asked shyly, ready to be turned down.

Erwin answered him by opening the door wider, making enough space for him. Levi entered without any other words and soon enough the door closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is interested the link of my tumblr ^^ : https://troublemoi.tumblr.com


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends ! I have been quite busy with Uni as usual, but fortunately I found time to write so here is the chapter !  
> It was supposed to be the last chapter but as it was too long I cut it so this one may seem a little shorter than the others.

The living room was still the same, spacious and adorned with white and beige furniture. Everything was still so sophisticated and refined like he remembered. Levi noticed then the near empty crystal bottle and a glass full of thick and brown liquid. Whisky. Levi remembered Erwin joking about drinking alone. It was maybe not so much of a joke.

“Would you like some?” Erwin asked him politely when he noticed him staring at the glass, after he followed him in the living room. 

Levi shook his head. That was tempting but he wasn’t there for that. 

“Alright” Erwin grabbed his glass and fidgeted with it as he sat on the arm rest of his sofa.

“How are you?” Levi was still standing in the middle of the room when he asked him that, finally meeting his gaze properly. 

“I am fine” Erwin answered with a tired smile. He was far from being fine Levi thought. Not when he was drinking alone at his place. Anyway, Levi let it go for now and nodded.

“What about you Levi?” Erwin asked, attentive.

“I am ok” Erwin nodded as well and after that they fell into an uncomfortable silence. During their relationship, silence was never a sign of awkwardness, it was even appreciated. But at this stage it just felt heavy and full of unspoken words. 

Erwin stood up abruptly, to refill his glass and Levi decided at that moment to break the painful quietness.

“I am sorry…” he told finally, voice hesitating and unsure. He was not used to apologise. Erwin turned to face the younger man and their eyes met, an eyebrow raised. “For the date.” Levi added specifically, hoping that Erwin will forgive him for his childish behaviour.

“Please don’t apologise.” Erwin reassured him. Levi was finding quite difficult to hold the man gaze. The generally vibrant blue eyes were paler that night and were complemented with heavy dark bags. Even how Erwin hold himself was quite unsettling. He stood in front of Levi but his shoulders were sagging and his posture not so self-assured. A contrast to Erwin’s confident attitude. But now he reminded Levi of scolded dog and Levi’s heart ached so much at the sight. 

“I shouldn’t have done th-“ 

“Do you remember... the story I told you about the book father offered me when I was ten?” Erwin cut him and Levi nodded. He memorised every stories Erwin was willing to share with him.

“I really liked that book because it gathered hundreds of stories about science and discoveries” Erwin smiled to himself. “I kept it with me everywhere I went and told my friends about this and that discovery. But because they found my interest weird, kids made fun of me. I was used to it though, so it didn’t really bother me” Erwin smiled bitterly, remembering all the not so kind words which were aimed at him. “But one day one of the kid stole it and I found it back completely ragged.” He remembered then how inconsolable he was. “Because it was a rare edition and father paid it dearly, I felt really bad.”

“I wondered for a long time why the kid did that and he told me one day that I was not like the other kids and it was wrong. That is the first time I wondered if being different was a bad thing.”

“That kid was just a fucking dumbass that is all” Levi reassured him. Erwin chuckled lightly.

“That could have been the case. But, then few years later, what I was supposed to feel towards girls, happened to a boy for the first time. He was my close friend, so I thought. but when I told him about how I felt, he took it so badly and he avoided me completely after. At one point he told my other friends and then whole school was aware. It became so awful, I had to transfer school. Since then, everything that might be consider out of the norm I kept it to myself”. Erwin revealed. Levi didn’t know about that story, Erwin never talked about any past relationships or crushes. “Everything that is not considered picture perfect is kept away from the view of everyone. I promised myself that I will only show my best side. But then I met you and our relationship became a threat to the impeccable identity I build” Erwin divulged at last. Levi flinched. “The thing is I wasn’t aware of how much you consumed me until it was too late. I was scared because I wondered if I would have the courage to stand up for who I truly was, to stand up for us, for you” Erwin whispered the last words. His distress and insecurities couldn’t be clearer now. “If someone needs to apologise it is me. I am sorry to have been such a coward Levi” The emotion in his voice made it sound frailer and uncertain. 

Levi was breathing painfully. His heart was going to combust and explode. And if it did it would not be pretty. He needed air. Fresh air. “I think I need to go.” He mumbled, avoiding Erwin’s eyes. Coming here was such a terrible idea, Levi knew deep inside what was Erwin’s problem but hearing it made it ten time worse. He couldn’t help the feeling of his heart sinking further down. Erwin came back to him and tried to face his fears by going out publicly with him and Levi just had to ruin everything. His eyes were burning, and he didn't know he could feel so horrible.  
“You won’t have to stand up for us” He let out, voice quivering and he tried to rush towards the front door but before he could even leave the living room he felt a strong hand grabbed him at the wrist. Levi froze. This should not happen.

“Please don’t leave” Erwin begged, voice still frail. Levi couldn’t gather the courage to turn around and face him. He had, himself, a hard time controlling his own emotions. “I am willing to be who I am with you, because you are so fearless and strong Levi. You don’t even know how much I admire you. How much I love you.” Levi let his head hung low. He was so close to lose it. His determination was beginning to shatter and his heavy heart wouldn’t stop constricting inside of his ribcage. He visited Erwin in the aim of having some kind of closure to eventually end this without more dramas. but now he was not so sure. Seeing the man, he cares for like that, overflowing with despair and burden made the wound inside of him widen. Because this is the real Erwin, at night when he removed his disguise and the mask he wears every day. Levi bit his lips to prevent himself to break down. He tried to calm himself and then stop struggling in Erwin’s grip. Erwin released him once he sensed Levi turning to him. “Levi. I am so sorry” he exclaimed regretfully, after realising how harshly he grabbed him.

 

“You poor bastard” Levi cried before grabbing his t-shirt and catching his lips, angry, heated. The kiss translated everything he felt, rage, sorrow and love. Erwin responded with equal ferocity and need. He caught Levi’s face with his hands as he deepened the kiss. 

“I need you right now” Levi whispered against his mouth. Erwin didn’t need to be told twice. He began to move toward the bedroom, Levi glued to him and his mouth unable to give him a moment of respite. Erwin was willing to give him everything he wanted.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long time isn't it? Sorry to have taken so much time to publish this chapter I was so busy with my private life. I hope you will like it tho.  
> And thank you for all the kudos and your nice comments guys I really appreciate it.

His heart was pounding so fast and his skin was burning. The hands handling him were strong and ferocious, demanding and claiming. And he let him turn his body into million flames. The sounds leaving their mouths were obscene and far from being subtle. Sucking the air from each other. 

“Levi” Erwin whispered as his last piece of clothes was removed. Levi still carried his boxer, the other pieces long forgotten on their way to the bedroom. Levi’s cloudy eyes met his and Erwin’s heart was no longer shattering. Miracle was the word going through Erwin’s confuse mind. Because after all, the idea of Levi coming back to him was just a puerile and distant dream. But his scent, his feel, his voice all these were very real. He was here and that was all that mattered.

Levi attacked him. He let out his most feral impulses. The desires that he denied himself for too long. He bit his lower full lip and let his tongue enter when Erwin moaned. He licked him heal after. Erwin was taken aback by his strength, not aware of it before. He attacked him with the ferocity of an animal chasing his prey. He also behaved like one, marking his neck, taking back his lost territory. 

Their hands were restless and at some point Erwin’s reached Levi’s boxer, teasing at the aim not quite removing it, but pulling it enough to insert one finger. Levi inhaled and Erwin captured his mouth once again. he then removed it and decided to play with Levi’s ass, he massaged his firmness, feeling the roundness of his buttocks, pulling the cheeks apart in a teasing way. The younger man was panting in the blonde’s mouth, and he lost it once he felt Erwin’s growing manhood rubbing against his. Their body moved together frantically seeking relief. The friction was too good and Levi thought with all the sensation that Erwin was giving him, his hands palping his ass, his tongue sucking his own and his crotch rubbing hard against his, he could release right here and there in his underwear. he certainly did not want it.

“I don’t want to come” Levi panted against his mouth.

“I know baby” Erwin chuckled lightly and stopped his attention. 

Erwin had also other plan in mind. And as they made their way to the noticeably massive bed, he had all the intention to put them into action. Erwin sat down heavily and Levi straddled him just after removing his constricting boxer. Erwin encircled his body as he dragged him in his fall into the sheets. Levi mouthed at his jaw while taking the heavy pole between Erwin’s legs into his eager hands. The motion was languorous and devoted and Erwin shuddered.

“Oh Levi” Erwin breathed. 

Levi swirled his cock, making sure he handled him good. The cock sprung alive and the motion making his veins hard and tangible. Levi’s own cock twitched at this wonderful sight. The flushed tip was slick with pre-come and Levi decided to spread it through his length. It was still a bit too dry for his likeness so he spat on his hand and Erwin squirmed at the contact. Levi’s lips stretched slightly at Erwin and that is when he noticed the blonde’s state. Hair completely wild and all over the place, eyes intense and glinting, mouth red and swelling by hard biting. He looked so inviting, relaxed and appeased like that, a total contradiction to his generally constant hard features. Levi was just mesmerized. He leaned on him and gave him a chaste kiss, just mouth against mouth. It was so simple yet meaningful and it earned him the most beautiful smile from the man he dared to love. His emotions were all over the place and he didn’t know how to tell him that happiness was a meagre word to explain the sensation in his stomach, all those sparkles and this fire inside of him. As usual Erwin already knew.

“Me too, Levi. Me too” Erwin grinned at him, he wasn’t sure one hundred percent on what he was agreeing, but the intensity in Levi’s eyes revealed enough. The younger man hid his face into Erwin’s neck, feeling bare and caught. Erwin caressed his hair gently, taking a moment to feel him. However, he still needed to feel him more deeply and Erwin took the opportunity to tease his entrance. Levi suddenly stood on edge, anticipating. 

“Look at me” Erwin ordered, warm air in his ear and Levi obeyed. He was directly faced with three thick and long fingers. Levi understood immediately and opened up his mouth. He sucked the meaty fingers one after the other, spreading saliva on them, without once breaking his gaze.

“You are so so good Levi” Erwin inserted the fingers, one by one, until he was deep enough to make Levi squirm uncontrollably.

“Fuck Erwi-” His sounds were muffled in Erwin’s shoulder.

“Did you miss having my fingers inside of you?” Erwin asked, tone low and commanding.

“Yes yea- Ah!” He certainly touched a sensible point because Levi’s moans turned into desperate pants. This was the signal Erwin was waiting for to roll Levi over and place himself on top of him. He then lifted one milky and firm leg up on his shoulder. Levi’s look was a mixture of impatience and nervousness. Erwin positioned his flushed and sensible cock at his entrance. The first contact made him groan.  
He penetrated the hot and constrict cave patiently, glad to feel once again this overwhelming tightness. The further he went the more it consumed him. However, a low painful sound took him out of his blissful state. Levi. He was having a hard time, having difficulties to adjust to Erwin’s size once again after all this time. 

The blonde soothed him with a gentle hand, brushing his damp strands. He tried to make him feel more at ease with butterfly kisses on his face. Soon enough, the initial burn was replaced by growing pleasure. Levi let him know of that change with a wriggling body and heavier pants. Levi scratched Erwin’s shoulders and the blonde groaned of pleasure and pain.  
Erwin’s pace became hasty and shortly after the sound of skin slapping again skin filled the entire room. The scent of Levi was intoxicating and Erwin buried his nose into his skin to drown in his perfume. He let his mouth trail and played with a hard nipple, earning him a gasp from his lover. 

Levi was a mess, wrecked and devastated. Erwin’s cock was relentless and it made his spine arch wonderfully. He drove him crazy and he squeezed his own cock looking for some release.  
Erwin slammed into him so forcefully, he made them moved further up in the bed. Levi could feel that Erwin was also close by the way he began to uncontrollably pound into him. Levi worked on his cock shamelessly, openly staring at Erwin’s flushed and contorted face.

“Erwin” he exhaled and he met his breath-taking gaze. 

It was all needed to stiffen and cry his release. Erwin followed him a moment after unable to resist the way his hole clenched around him so tightly. He let out a raw guttural noise before falling on Levi, exhausted and spend. He embraced him with his whole body, breathing harshly in his skin. Levi wrapped his arms around him, wishing they could stay like that forever.


	8. Chapter 8

It was a chilly night, still the bright moon allowed the city to live joyfully below. Streets were crowded with group of drunkard and people cheering. From the confines of his tiny flat Levi could hear all the outside cacophony. The background noises a hard reminder of his anti-social life and heavy solitude. Sure he had Isabel and Farlan but they were just his friends and as the man he was, he had needs. That is why Levi made the embarrassing decision to put himself on a dating website. It has been a while since he had someone and his hands were not helping much. He had desires but because he was the worst at expressing himself nothing really came his way. While Farlan had been nice enough to accompany him hunting into bars full of people just like him, he gave up on the idea quickly when he noticed that the dark blond received much more attention than him. It was understandable though, his lively personality attracted people effortlessly, without counting the fact that he was tall and had a lovely face. The total opposite of Levi. He sighed as he scrolled through the profiles, wanting to give up when he noticed he wasn’t more popular there either. He felt clearly pathetic, he never knew he would have to resort to such a drastic option, but there he was looking a pictures of guys, he didn’t even want to meet. The desperation was constricting his lungs when the sounds of a notification alerted him. He quickly hit on the profile of the guy who seemingly just liked his. He was thrilled, his first notification since a long time. But his excitation scattered down to the floor once he saw the pictures of the man. Weird photos of him on his knees with creepy leather laces tightened around his body, a whip in one hand, a wooden stick in the other. Levi blocked the profile immediately. He was far from being an adept of any BDSM shit, he wanted to fuck not to be the suffering pawn of a psychopath. He opened another beer, his only consolation for now. He was going to call it a night when he heard another notification. Someone had sent him a message. Wonderful, he was just so eager to read the filthy and repulsive shit that horny men directed at him in their free time. He opened the text box, apathetic and he was just so disconcerted after reading it. The message was weirdly…polite.

“Good evening Levi. How are you doing tonight? I can’t help but think that you look striking in your picture.” The text mentioned. Levi raised a curious brow. He had only one picture. The only one he found where he shows the semblance of a smile but truthfully he just looks like he was in pain. Levi rapidly visited the profile of his new apparent admirer. His mouth fell agape, the man was just gorgeous he had only three pictures but his godly features where well captured by the camera, his eyes were piercing and his hair were made of gold. It looked like he was tall, Levi noticed in the picture where he is standing. More than physical he emitted a certain aura that made Levi felt some type of way. The only wicked point was his name though. Who the fuck is called Erwin?

“Thank you.” Levi answered. “You don’t look bad either” He sent, not knowing what to add more. He cringed at his lack of conversation skilled, at that moment he just despised himself for that. However, it seemed like the so-called Erwin wasn’t unfazed by Levi’s odd chat, on the contrary, he found it so endearing. They talked like that for some time, everyday Erwin would send him something and Levi would respond impatiently. Levi didn’t mind because Erwin appeared like a well-mannered guy and it was a refreshing change to the despicable guys he frequented in the past. The more they talk, the more he wanted to see him. Clearly, thinking about him in the darkness of his room was not enough to satisfy his growing impulses. One evening, Levi gathered all his courage and asked him if they could meet. However, his boldness was rewarded by a long silence and a raising anxiety in Levi’s stomach. When Erwin finally acknowledged him again, he told him that he would be delighted to meet him and that he wanted more than anything to meet him. But the only problem was that they couldn’t meet openly. Then it was Levi’s turn to reflect on that. He understood really, maybe he had an important job, or a family -a wife, a kid, a dog and all the bullshit- or maybe both. Either way, Levi’s goal wasn’t to ruin his life, he just wanted his dick. Levi reassured him and told him that it wasn’t an issue for him. That is how, a few days later, Levi ended up on Erwin’s couch, his face buried deeply between his legs, working his throat in the thick length. After that, keeping Erwin company became a routine and he offered him the most intense fucking sessions of his life. Levi let him take possession his body without noticing that his mind and heart were slowly being conquered as well. 

 

Looking back at that time Levi would have never guessed that Erwin could become someone so imperative in his life. What started as a detached encounter slowly transformed into a flourishing relationship. He didn’t know he could be so ecstatic to see someone. The reality was that for so long Levi’s idea of love was distorted and damaging, having grown up with no example of healthy relationships. The attention and care that he received was contemporary for him. He felt nervous and uneasy while at the same time, it made him feel so warm inside. This type of relationship was still somewhat foreign for Levi and it translated certainly on how sometimes he felt out of place next to Erwin. Strangely enough, the genuineness of the older man was enough to convince him that he was stupid to feel that way, especially after what they went through. Yet the internal demons of Erwin were still creeping him, never very far from the man’s dark thoughts and insecurities. But Levi could see Erwin battling for the both of themeHe. He could see it in how Erwin showed more affection publicly, bold gesture like holding hands, kissing him softly and caressing his cheek and each time Levi would fall for him more.

 

The turning point for Levi happened when Erwin introduced him as his partner during his company drink. That was when he knew it was real. Erwin had no shame in standing beside him. He greeted his colleagues an arm around Levi’s waste, proudly showing him around. Levi remembered feeling so embarrassed but it took only one look from Erwin to make his fears disappear.

 

One warm night, while both of them were cuddling into Erwin’s sofa, beer cans in their hands, the rest of Levi’s favourite pizza in the side table, that Erwin asked him to move in. Levi stared at him long and hard, one moment before he was snorting so loudly because Erwin was particularly funny that night but he quieted himself quickly upon hearing Erwin’s serious tone. On his side, Erwin took Levi’s silence for rejection and he tried to take back his words, telling him that it was silly, to forget about that. But then Levi grabbed his face and kissed him hard. “Fuck yes” He whispered against his lips. 

 

The relationship wasn’t perfect; it was actually far from it. Disputes powered by screams, harsh words and tears happened occasionally. But at the end of the day, Erwin would always come back to Levi with regrets in his eyes and apologies at the tip of his tongue. Whether he was guilty or not. The blonde hated to see his love in so much despair, he couldn’t help but feel like a coward after an argument. Levi meant too much for him.

“Do you know how much I love you?” Erwin asked leaning against their bedroom door.

“I don’t fucking know.” Levi answered flatly, voice hoarse from shouting and eyes red-rimmed. 

“Sometimes I look at you and I can’t believe I found you” Levi didn’t even dare to look him in the eyes. But he felt his presence as the mattress deepened. “You are so beautiful inside and out Levi. You care so much about people around you and I know you are capable of everything for those who matter to you the most, without even thinking about yourself” Erwin searched Levi’s gaze. 

“You trusted me to take care of you. You gave me your heart, your soul… and the only thing I could do was hurting you. Levi I am sorry” Levi couldn’t stop the new tear rolling in his cheek in time.

“Please believe me when I say it is killing me to see you like that” Erwin murmured, reaching for Levi’s hand. And Levi’s heart can only take so much in one day. He hated to feel so weak next to him.

“Fuck you Erwin.” He snapped before letting his face fall into Erwin’s shoulder, hiding a new flow of tears. Erwin inhaled deeply and embraced as if he was the world and beyond. 

 

They were laying relax and spent into damp and warm sheets when Erwin turned toward him. Levi’s body was illuminated by the light hue of the moon, giving him an ethereal air. Erwin wondered then how someone could look so effortlessly beautiful. He was just in awe.

“What are you looking at?” Levi mumbled, worn-out and oblivious to Erwin’s deep thoughts.

“Can I not look at my absolutely gorgeous fiancé?” Erwin asked, the hint of a glee in eyes. 

“Shut up, old pervert.” Erwin’s baritone voice exploded in laughter and the whole room brightened suddenly. Levi couldn’t help but stare at him.

“Alright” Erwin resigned. He kissed his forehead lightly “Good night” and he buried his nose in Levi’s dark strands, an arm secured around him.

“Erwin?” 

“hum?” 

“I love you”

“I love you so much Levi”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Voilà ! Moon is done and I really hope you all enjoyed my first "long" fic. It was really challenging because english is not my first language and it was only supposed to be an os. Haha  
> Anyway, thank you so much guys for reading it.
> 
>  
> 
> Btw I'm working on my next long fic. Please look forward to it. ^^
> 
> Here is the link to my tumblr: https://troublemoi.tumblr.com


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